The last day
|
to stop the negative talk
to be patient with myself
to not procrastinate when I know I should be working out
to not get caught up in minutiae
to make an effort to spend time with the people who make me happy
to not feel guilty when I am taking care of me
to stop worrying about how others interpret my good intentions
to let go of the people in my life who don’t appreciate who I am
to be okay with having a small circle of true friends
to spend more time reading books that I love
to spend less time surfing on the internet
to continue to explore and learn new things and be excited about them
to write for myself and keep learning from other writers
to stop looking back on my life and focus on moving forward
to stop feeling guilty for not being able to fix things for others
to eat healthy and continue to take care of my body
to stop worrying about aging and accept the changes
to be able to say, “No,” and not feel guilty
to indulge in the things that make me feel good
to share what’s important to me with my grandkids
to enjoy my grown children and who’ve they become
to appreciate the good in my life
Little Kate Sophia
The youngest of three
Calm like the ocean
On a clear, sunny day
Little Kate Sophia
Almost three months old
Breathtaking sparkly, sky blue eyes
Soft, sweet cheeks and rosy lips
Little Kate Sophia
Loves to hear your voice
Loves to be sung to
Enchanted by pages of a book
Little Anna Rose
Can encounter stormy weather
Feracious when hungry or wet
Already, she’s no push over
Little Kate Sophia
Petite, but oh so strong
Cuddly and warm
My granddaughter
Inspired by Vivian Chen, March 28, 2024 slice, “My kryptonite”
My Kryptonite
My kryptonite is nourishing my mind
Reading beautifully written books
Sharing in thought provoking conversations
Solving problems with creative solutions
My kryptonite is love
The companionship of my husband & close friends
The honesty and loyalty of my daughters
The delicious delights of my grandkids
My kryptonite is good health
Taking care of my aging body
Eating smart and staying strong
Appreciating the body I was born to
Inspired by Heidi's Musings
Currently, I am scanning through the slices today and hoping to be inspired to write something meaningful.
Currently, I am feeling overwhelmed with my self-imposed lists of things to do and the myriad of thoughts running through my mind.
Currently, I am excited to have two additional days off from teaching tacked on to the weekend. I love holidays that I don’t celebrate because it gives me freedom to do the things I never have time for.
Currently, I am thinking about the two books I downloaded on my kindle from Libby today and yesterday that I had reserved and wondering why books take so long to get and then all come at one time. I am hoping to push myself to read a lot this weekend to finish them both in the next two weeks.
Currently, I am trying on the eclipse glasses for the April 8 solar eclipse event that I purchased on Amazon. There were many places to find them but I was lazy and spent eight bucks. But, I am wondering why the lens is so dark and if I was swindled!
Currently, I am realizing that I am ridiculously tired and need to grab my kindle, read one of the books I downloaded, and try to fall asleep. The issue is staying asleep.
Forty-one years ago today
I married this man
Who I’d met five years prior
He was sitting in a booth
At the Talbot Ale House bar
Friendly and confident
A chester cat smile
Spread across his face
I wore a soft, white puffy blouse
Usally not my usually style
Too shy to look him in the eye
About to end my high school years
About to become a college freshman in the fall
We dated every evening that hot, sweet summer
We took longs walks on the beach
We danced until dawn
Parked at the drive-in movie theater
He spent all of his hard-earned savings
We fell in-love
Forty-one years ago
inspired by Tergie’s “Right now I am” slices
sitting at my desktop computer, tucked inside a shelf inside my country-style green armoire that doesn’t fit the architecture of my modern home, but I am happy here and that's what matters!
waiting for my youngest daughter to get her daughter, my granddaughter, to sleep in the crib upstairs so we can talk about life and our day today together. She comes after work to us on Monday evenings since her husband has to work late. I look forward to Monday nights. But, she’ll probably never come downstairs because she’ll fall asleep putting Zoey to sleep!
debating whether retiring would be the right decision for me.
smiling at the memory of this past weekend of taking our eldest grandchild to Montauk with us and having the best sleep-over ever.
appreciating that Henry was tall enough to climb up all the Montauk Lighthouse steps to the very top. He was so excited and so proud of himself.
worrying about the future and my indecision.
hoping my husband remembers that it’s our 41st anniversary tomorrow. How did all those years pass us by?
thinking I should be planning what I’ll do come next fall if I don't have teaching to keep my mind and days occupied as it has the past twenty-five years.
wondering how come I am so indecisive.
feeling content that I have a wonderful husband, three loving daughters and their families to enrich my life.
It’s a mess
So many documents
Written over years
Lists that I’ve created
Emails I’ve sent
Pictures I’ve taken
Slices I've written
All jumbled inside
Where does it all go?
How does my computer’s brain organize it all?
Paper can be filed and found
I put words in the search bar
Sometimes I get lucky
Most times I’m lost
Like climbing out of a deep dark hole
And feeling like you’ll never get out
“dance party!” Zoey exclaims
one and a half years young
huge brown eyes staring up at me
quickly reaching one arm up high
the opposite arm flies down
both bent at her elbows dancing in unison
little hands wrapped up into two fists
little legs marching like a tin soldier
“dance party!” she repeats
two straight minisule arms abruptly fly up
spread out like an eagle
waiting, waiting, waiting
I bend as low as I possibly can
scooping up her little body
wrapping my arms tightly around her
Alexa play, “Texas Hold 'Em’”
we swirl, twirl, sway back and forth
Zoey’s fine, soft hair flies up into the air
I bend down low, move quickly up and down
Zoey gasps and giggles
and giggles some more
This slice is inspired by Sherri's Slice of Life Project, “What am I wearing today,” whose slice was inspired by Juliette Awua-Kyerematen’s Semi-kaftan .
The minute I get home from work I run upstairs, slip off my shoes and work pants on the way into my closet to quickly step one leg at a time into my thick, flannel, worn, cozy old pajama pants covered in a paisley black & white print.
I stand on my tippy toes to grab an inexpensive Gap black tank-top from the top shelf above the rod of hanging sweaters as I rip off my shirt and bra.
I take my black zip-up piling sweatshirt off the hanger bought over fifteen years ago at the Cornell student store when my daughters were students there, put it on and zipper it up, even on warm, sunny days.
I plant myself in the old, wooden chair I bought from the second-hand shop by my makeup counter, opposite my closet, to take off my sweaty socks, slowly putting on my thick, warm ones, neglecting the lotion I often put underneath to keep my dry skin from flaking off my tired crackly feet.
I grab my hair in one hand from the back and take one of my favorite ponytail holders from my drawer, tossing my long, brown hair in a messy pony near the top of my head. “Ahhhhhh”
I take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. Now, I can relax.
This list is inspired by Aggiekesler slice today titled, “Hello there….”
Hello there…
I am too serious and need more play time in my daily life.
I keep many lists: things “to do”, books to read, friends to call that I haven’t spoken to in a while, doctor appointments to arrange, groceries to buy, gifts to purchase, and lists to create.
I wish I could be more adventurous and have the guts to move to another city in another country for 6 months like I promised myself I’d do in my twenties.
I love steak, artichokes and milk chocolate.
I dance with my one and a half year old granddaughter, Zoey, because when she hears music she moves her opposite arms up and down with two fists and declares, “dance party” and raises her two little arms to the sky expecting me to pick her up and swirl her around as she giggles and has a huge smile across her beautiful face.
I sing loudly and always off-key in my car when I’m alone and in the shower where I somehow sound like an opera singer.
I think about what it would be like to not go to work every day and not have the responsibility of teaching children.
I really need to take better care of my body: stretch more, figure out what vitamins to take and do more lower body lunges and squats.
I need to start the book, The Frozen River, that I finally got from Libby but find myself too busy on-line instagram and facebook and playing on-line canasta to read at night when I get into bed.
I should spend more time with my husband doing mindless things like watching a television show together.
I can be by myself all day long and be very happy. I wasn’t like this when I was younger but as I age I find I’m happiest alone. (Is this bad I wonder?)
I like to take long walks in the fresh air, study the moon at night in the sky, collect sea glass on a beach walk and wake up really slowly in the morning.
I make a great blueberry pie.
I always feel alive when I’m with my most special friends who I admire. Friends who know my heart, who I can share life’s struggles with freely and honestly.
Today, being St. Patrick’s Day, brought me back to a time when I was newly married, in my young twenties without children, and traveled to Ireland for a week. We rented a car and traveled from one end of Ireland to the other, stopping in little towns along the way. It was my very first time abroad.
I learned quickly that my husband and I have different goals when traveling. He likes to be, “one with the people '' as he says. When we stopped to explore a small town, he’d head to the local bar. He’d meet the folks, play games, and spend time chatting and exchanging stories with the people of the town. Back then, the bars were where everyone hung out. The dark, small rooms were smoky and filled with not just men, but families, including young children.
I, on the other hand, like to explore the towns. I wanted to walk aimlessly around the cobblestone streets, visit the old buildings and admire the architecture. Ireland is so beautiful, filled with green, green landscapes and bright blue skies.
In one small town, I met a young man. He stopped me by the water fountain in the center of the town sensing I was a tourist. He instantly invited me to tea at his house stating that his mother loves Americans. I was flattered and chatted with him for a bit. I told him my husband was in the bar and he was fine with both of us joining his family for tea.
I regret not taking this young friendly gent up on his offer for tea. I often wonder what held me back. Was it my fear of the unknown, my parents teaching me not to trust strangers or my disbelief that people can really be that friendly?
Yesterday I was inspired by Elizabeth Ellington’s slice on 3/14, who was inspired by Push to Write. I began listing 14 things about me and then realized most comments on my list were about food, so I stuck with that idea. (Pi and food worked for me!) I realize the parts I eliminated were all about paper. So, today's slice is all about, “Papers that consume my life!”
I am obsessed… with paper. I love paper. I love anything that can be written on: marble notebooks, yellow post-it pads, wrapping paper, notepaper, cards for all occasions, that wonderful watercolor paper to paint on, paper to color on, notes or bills and even receipts. I have always collected cardboard boxes, many are so adorable that I wonder how anyone would toss them in the garbage! I never use sponges to clean my dishes, but Bounty paper towels. Of course I get the half-split ones to save a little paper, but since I can’t stand the smell sponges leave on your fingers, it’s paper towels all the way for me.
I constantly leave little notes for myself. I promise myself that I’ll write my “to do” growing lists in the marble notebook that I have assigned for “to do” lists, but I never seem to follow that rule. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it’s my love of paper?
The gazillion post-it notes I leave around my computer stuck inside an old country armoire in my den drive me nuts. I use post-its to quickly write down new passwords, results of research for items to buy, things I need to do, book recommendations, really anything I fear my brain will fail me when I want to remember it.
I am constantly going through my desk surrounded by these little yellow sheets of paper with the goal of tossing as many as possible as my space is invaded. I end up sticking a few in a marble notebook that deals with the topic (to do, health, money) and eventually end up with a pile on the corner of the shelf where my desktop computer sits.
I am left wondering why I have trouble parting with those that I continue to save. I’m a mystery to myself! Any suggestions slice readers?
one & a half petite, adorable Zoey
watches with big brown eyes
as the tub slowly fills
warm water; perfect to the touch
she gingerly places one toe in
she quickly takes one toe out
“All done,” she cries
zoey shakes her head
she refuses
strategizing how to change her mind
crying and shaking persists
unsuccessful in the quest
months later, trying again
taking it slow, on her terms
giving her the control
playing with bubbles
standing in one place
slowly exploring her foamy ocean
carefully
dumping cups of water
splashing and pushing the water
slowly, carefully walking
slowly, carefully sitting down
Zoey’s smiles as she explores
My inspiration was Elizabeth Ellington’s slice today (3/14) who was inspired by Push to Write.
1. Unlike what seems like the rest of the universe, I am not a foodie.
2. I feel like an outlier because it feels like everyone around me is obsessed with cooking and eating. I like no spice, plain and simple dishes. My family makes fun of me constantly for what they think is a bland eater.
3. I enjoy eating in a restaurant (no cooking, zero pots, pans and dishes to wash and put away!) but those around me think I’m out of my mind as I ask for the sauces on the side and "Please, can you hold the salt?"
4. I wake up in the middle of the night every time I eat out and my rings are so tight around my finger from the crazy amount of salt restaurants use. I wonder why chefs need to use so much salt.
5. I eat a mini peanut butter Perfect Bars for breakfast every day, all week long. Since I really don’t like eggs and bagels are so bad for you, the "perfect bar" is perfect!
6. I only cook meals and prepare lunch that take five to ten minutes of my time. (Tonights dinner of lemon shrimp and basmati rice took seven minutes to prepare. And was light, tasty and delicious!)
7. Each morning I take a zip-lock and load it with two slices of rye bread (I would prefer sourdough because it’s good for your gut) with two low-salt organic turkey slices and one slice of muenster cheese and poof, lunch. (no time or patience for condiments)
8. My new passion is Sumo oranges. Ohhhh la la. The best! It’s like a boost of vitamin C in every thick, juicy slice!
9. I drink one cup of coffee everyday and NEVER after eleven o’clock. (I won’t sleep if I have caffeine after 11:00) I love love love anything coffee flavored... yogurt and ice-cream....
10. Of course I like a good desert, but I don't like donuts or really sweet sweets.
11. As a kid I could eat a five pound bag of peanut m&m's but now I rarely eat candy. But I do love a handful of chocolate chips that I keep in my freezer for an after dinner treat.
12. I’ve had fancy, expensive chocolates from Europe, the most exotic, but my favorite is a plain old Hersey kiss.
13. I detest going to the supermarket. My daughter and her husband, who are true foodies, think of going to Whole Foods as a special event. They plan their day around it. I cry on my way and kick and scream. Too many decisions. Too exhausting.
14. I am so thrilled that today you don't have to spend two hours in a supermarket to shop for the week. You simply order food on-line from Fresh Direct. The best part is the bag is sitting on my front porch when I come home from work. If you came to my house and opened my refrigerator, you probably would complain that there's nothing to eat. (I have a huge problem throwing out food when so many people in this world are starving) I don’t see the issue, there is always an apple or a piece of cheese, and of course some chocolate chips waiting patiently in the freezer.
Twice a year we have parent-teacher conferences at the elementary school that I teach fifth grade at. The district sets up two nights (5 - 8 o'clock) and two after school times for parents to sign up for on the app “Teacher Reacher.”
Teachers used to be required to make phone calls and send out time requests, but happily now parents get an email and sign up on their own. Surprisingly to me, several did not sign up by the deadline.
Tonight was the first of the two evening conferences. I prepare extremely well for these conferences. I have standardized test data, classroom assessments average, writing samples, completed adorable projects, and my anecdotal notes. I often provide an interesting article about the benefites of reading and a sheet of paper to take notes if a parent would like. This year I left a sign and paper for parents outside the classroom on a desk for parents to write notes to leave on their child's desks to be read tomorrow morning while they waited!
I ask my students to complete a “Self-reflection” report card. It’s helpful for me to see how students see themselves as learners and it gives parents an opportunity for discussions at home. I always thread in a comment that tells me if a child enjoys coming to school and am surprised by some of the responses.
Sitting opposite parents, I begin to say positive attributes about their child. I share how much I enjoy teaching their child. (There is always something kind to say about a student, even the most difficult!) I find it interesting how parents respond and the concerns they candidly share with me. Tonight I spent a lot of time telling parents not to worry; assuring parents that their child was doing well and would be fine in middle school next September.
Then, as parents get ready to leave and take out their phones to take pictures of the material, I hand them a large envelope filled with the papers I shared. I hope they’re as proud of their children as I am.
Began with two teachers,
Me and Bonnie
Twenty-five years ago
Who loved to read
Grew like a beautiful garden
On a bright, sunny day
Rotating hostesses
Providing delicious appetizers
Lately, dinner too
Glasses of Pinot Grigio
With desert baked by Jane
We’ve shared intimate details
Three cancers - a death
Selling homes, buying homes
Engagements & weddings
Funerals and births
We agree and often, debate
Politics, the news, our world
Relatable stories to the novel read
Opinions and emotions
Connections to life
Birthdays
Reminders of who you were
Hope for the future
Love from those who care
Presents to unwrap
Today was my birthday
All I want really is time
Time with my kids and grandkids
Playing at the park
Walks along the beach
Birthdays
Remind me to appreciate
Those that I love
Take take care of my body
And thank my lucky stars
I was inspired by Heidi’s Musings' slice today titled, “Writing prompts: too personal? In her slice she mentions a poem (knock knock by Daniel Beaty) and lesson by Linda Christensen in her book Teaching for Joy and Justice. She mentioned how the lesson involved writing a letter from someone and writing about what you need to hear from them, the advice you wish you’d be given or the obstacles you may face in life, how to overcome them, and what you need to hear from them.
I thought this could be a way to chat with my mother, who passed away a few years ago.
Dear daughter,
I’ve been watching how you’ve been handling your life lately. Isn’t it wild that you now have more grandkids then I did? I love that you wear the gold grandchild necklace that I had worn and needed to add another charm when Kate was born . (How sweet to have a grandchild who shares my Hebrew name!) I am pretty sure you’ll need even more charms for that necklace. I hope so. There is enough love in your heart for all those beautiful children.
I hope I taught you well and gave you the confidence that you need to get through this life of yours. I see you looking in the mirror sometimes and thinking, “How did I get as old as my mother was?” I notice you stretching the skin on your face out remembering the face lift that I had done so many years ago. You didn’t understand why I did that to myself back then. But how could you understand what getting older was like when you still had youth? It’s not something you understand until you experience it.
I’m so thrilled that you and your husband are still finding ways to enjoy each other. Family is the most important thing we have in our lives. I know you remember how dad and I sometimes disagreed, but the love and respect was always there. Dad and I always knew Eddie would be a wonderful husband, but honestly we had no idea that he would be such a magnificent Papa. I see how much love you and Eddie get from your children and only wish I could have met and hugged each of them.
I saw you yesterday shopping for clothes in the department store. I know how much you loathe clothes shopping and you alway wondered how I could love it so much. I saw you wishing I was there to help you pick out that dress for the wedding. Just go with your gut and try to be youthful. That’s what I did. I never stopped wearing denim even in my eighties and nineties.
I see the many obstacles that life has thrown in your way and am proud of how you’ve handled them. I never said life was easy. Sometimes change is hard but somehow we always manage to make it work. Just be happy every day and appreciate the good life you have while you have it.
My darling daughter, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve had a good life and you’ve helped so many others in ways you don’t even know. I’m proud of you.
Love,
Mom
My husband and I finally found something we can enjoy doing together. An activity where we can meet new people and get some exercise at the same time. Pickleball. It’s a fun game that we began to play before it became so popular. Then covid occurred and we didn’t play for a long time. But, now we’re back and loving it.
Tonight we played in the adult education class we signed up for. We play in the auxiliary gym at the local high school. The room isn’t well lit, the nets are a bit low and the courts are on top of one another. But, we’re happy just to have a place to play that’s indoors and close to home.
Before we leave for the class each week we take a Peloton stretch class together. It takes a bit longer for us to get ready than in the past as my husband puts on his compression socks (to prevent his calves from cramping) and knee brace (protect the knee he had surgery on a few years ago) and I place my elbow brace in the right spot under my right elbow that I spent months at physical therapy two summers ago from hurting playing pickleball.
Every week on the way to the courts, I lecture my husband on the importance of controlling himself. Really my goal is twofold. I don’t want to have to take care of an injured man and it’s embarrassing as he slams the ball across the courts scaring his opponents. I love that my husband is competitive. It’s part of his charm. But, like most things in his life, he gets carried away in the moment.
Back when I played competitive tennis I never stretched or thought about the effects of the playing on my body. If I hurt myself I’d be better in a few days. Now, it’s a different story. I play thinking about how NOT to hurt myself. I focus on how I hold the racquet in my hand, how I move my body forward and try hard not to hit the ball in a way that won't reverberate in my elbow joint. Of course it feels good to hit a great hard ball and slam it across the net. But I have to weigh how long it will take me to recover if I hurt my elbow or pull a leg muscle. How many days of physical therapy will I need? How much advil will I need to take?
I appreciate that I can still play a competitive game and continue to work hard to keep my body healthy and strong. But man, what I would give to be a young athlete again!
This slice is inspired by Jodimahoney’s blog: Schoolinspirations.
Thanks Jodi! I accept your challenge!
“Be the reason someone smiles today” Ten reasons
1. Reviewing writing & sharing with a student that the third draft of their
argumentative essay is outstanding
2. Calling my sister just to chat after a long day
3. Boiling regular pasta for dinner instead Bonza for a welcome change
4. Calling a parent to share how amazing her daughter has handled having a broken wrist in school
5. Commenting with kind words on several blogs on today’s March SOLSC
6. Thanking the lady in the dressing room with the horrid job of hanging up clothing
7. Asking a colleague about her health
8. Guiding my student teacher, Sarah, in preparing to teach a math lesson
9. Sharing my desktop computer to help my husband find information
10. Calling my daughter to ask how her day went
This slice was inspired by Summer Not over Yet
Seconds turn into minutes
Minutes into hours
Hours into days
Days into weeks
Weeks into months
Months into years
You can’t stop the second hand
You can’t stop the change of the seasons
You can’t stop the flipping of calendar pages
You blink and summer is gone
You blink and your babies are grown
You blink and your children are married
You blink and your children have families of their own
You wonder where the time went
You felt as if you’d be 30 forever
Then, you were 40
Oh my, 50
Surprisingly, 60!
You want to stop the clock
You want to stay young
Exercise, lasers and botox this and that
Simply don’t do the trick
You wonder what’s left to do
It’s perfectly clear:
Stop wishing Stop whining Stop dreaming
Start accepting
Accept that the clock will keep ticking
Our bodies will keep aging
The years will pass us by
Accept that we’re lucky to have the
Seconds, minutes, days, weeks, years
That make up our life stories
Accept the time that we have left
A gift to be treasured
Each moment is all what
we really
ever
had
Stranger danger
Crocodile tears
Cascading down
Soft, round cheeks
Patiently playing peek-a-boo
Laughter and giggles
Disappear in a flash
As mom and dad leave his sight
Stranger danger
Distinguishing familiar faces
I’m the unfamiliar face
To my one-year-old grandson
Stranger danger
Hoping it will one day disappear
Kissing those sweet cheeks
Loving this little boy
Sleeping
Trying to close your eyes and fall into a deep slumber
In a bed that’s not your own
Waking in the middle of the night
Grabbing in the cave-like darkness for your ipad
Unaccustomed noises and sinking in the middle of the soft mattress
Unknown lights glaring through the blinds
Flipping and turning for a comfortable spot
Adding, taking off layers, as the temperature is too hot or too cold
Traveler’s are forced to figure it out
Sliding between sheets that someone else washed and tucked
Avoiding the touch of the unwashed contaminated covers
Prepared for the missing stacked medicine cabinet
Unzipping the small plastic bag tucked inside the overnight bag
Armed with Melatonin and Advil PM for midnight, just in case
Attempting to fall asleep and even harder, stay asleep
In a foreign place that’s not your own
Compromising, adjusting, but never feeling just right
Eva Kaplan
Sea glass, found on beaches, is naturally worn and smooth by tide and time,. As a wife, mother, Bubbe, teacher, reader & life-long learner, and of course, sea glass collector, I aspire to use writing to help me understand myself and the world around me.
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